Are You Just Gonna Let Some Bully Stand In Your Way?

Did you know that we are all innately great multitaskers? It certainly is apparent to me, as I can be feeding my dogs, listening to the radio, talking to a friend, and while all this is  going on, I can be listening to and hearing clearly that little voice in my head telling me all kinds of stuff.  Yeah, you know about that “stuff”.

It’s really a game ya know. But who’s gonna win? Unfortunately, some of us are not into this competition and just roll over and allow the onslaught. I seem to have an unending fascination with this topic as seen in my  January 4th post, but bear with me as I feel this is truly a topic worth exploring!

So what is that little voice really all about? What the heck is that bully up to? You see, it really thinks it is trying to protect us; to keep us safe. And it, being the ego,  is trying to protect itself too. Quite the dichotomy.

So I’ll be bold here and share with you one of the things my little voice really enjoys trying to do with me (I am guessing that it enjoys it because sometimes it can do it so well…).  It so often tricks me into playing small and into not seeing my greatness by telling me how much better everyone else is, how I just can’t do it, and how I will surely fail. What a mouthful!

And when and where did all those thoughts of smallness and incompetence originate? I love that question. I have my theories, some more esoteric than others, but the bottom line is that the voices are a present factor and need to be dealt with, or I will become a six foot tall woman playing life as if I were six inches tall. And I have decided that that is just not a road I will traverse.

As I said, who knows the origin of these less than positive thoughts. But one thing is very clear. They  can be an ongoing block to our connecting with our greatness. Our inner landscape can at times be more treacherous than anything we see in our external landscape. What continues to make it even more interesting is all of the lovely emotions that seem to partner up with the voice.  So what’s a person to do?

Well, below I share with you a couple of little tricks I have discovered in dealing with my not-so-friendly-friend in my head. Perhaps one or two may resonate with you or perhaps you can share your own techniques. Each one is a different approach and some may be more powerful for you than others.

1. So let’s say the bully just  teased you with, “Forget that! You could NEVER do that!” Close your eyes, take three or four deep breaths, and fully hear that statement. Recognize it. Acknowledge it.  Then label it. Perhaps you could call it something as simple as FEAR  or INSECURITY. Whatever label works best for you. The minute you label it, it becomes something outside of yourself and looses its charge. Acknowledge it again and accept it by saying, “I accept that I have this fear”.  Accepting it helps it dissolve as you are no longer pushing it away as resistance can make it grow. Take the time to honor it.  Recognize and acknowledge the feelings that are coming up too. They too can be diffused in this way as well.
2. Be polite to the voice but firm and simply say, “Thank you for sharing”. You are the boss anyway, right? (I must give a nod to T. Harv Eker for that one)
3. Perhaps the bully’s words are indeed signaling to you that there is something deeper going on. So take a pen and paper in hand and write out the words it gave you. Then just do some free association writing. This will get all of that “stuff” out of your head so you can now go forward with a clear focus.
4. Play a game with the silly statement the bully flung out at you. Use affirmations to put it out of its misery. First think of the opposite of what it told you. For example, if it told you , “You are a failure”, the contrary could be “I am a success”. Take out your trusty pen and paper again and make two columns. In the left-hand column write out the positive affirmation of “I am a success”. In the right-hand column write what is still coming up for you contrary to that. Perhaps what comes up from hearing the positive is a denial of it and looks like, “No! I can’t do anything right!” and you put that in the right-hand column. But just keep on writing out your positive statement in the left hand column until you no longer hear a negative response and no longer need to write anything in the right-hand column. Once you have neutralized the enemy, you can just continue penning out the positive. You win!
5. Hold the thought that anything that comes into your mind that is negative and does not speak to the Truth of You and your greatness is simply a lie. Choose in that moment to not believe it since it is a lie, and focus on the positive and what is the Truth.
6. When all else fails, just do what a very dear friend of mine does. Just stand up to that bully voice and its nasty little words and say, “JUST SHUT UP!!!!”

No matter how we deal with that voice, the bottom line is that we must find a way to not allow it to shroud the beauty and the power that is us, our True Selves. We are all destined for greatness. We are all designed for greatness. It’s just that our inner voices have their own agenda…

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